Minion deaths: 10
Leading causes of death among adventurers and associates
Their own party: 4
The Bender Brothers: 3
"The old man:" 3
Ashborne Arachnae: 2
Margoyles: 1
Mohrgs: 1
Charnel Colossus: 1
Clantock's assassins: 1
Vol: 1
Screamers: 1
Dread Wraith: 1
Ambient warfare: 3
1. Al Kedish Vin, the Desert Wind (Tiefling Weapon Master Fighter/Kensai Magus 7)
Silently slain by the Bender Brothers in the first ever session after doing his best to provoke both them and everyone he met in the camp. Alas, the consequences of being an asshole with 5 charisma. Perhaps in his next life he will not tell the Bender Brother serving dinner that he likes it when "the lesser races know their place serving their betters."
2. "Sun Bro" (Died too quickly for me to remember)
Tragically got his throat cut by Bradley Weatherby in his first session after getting mind-raped by allips. His poorly conceived plans and his poorly chosen companions led him to his doom; his tribe will surely wither and die now. Expect to see him return as a souped up allip with class levels at some point.
3. Beltin's zombie griffin mount
Murdered by a gaggle of margoyles and the first of Beltin's army to permanently fall. At least Beltin now gets his daily exercise via walking miles on end through the cursed wasteland that is the Desolation.
4. Bol (Tiefling Vivisectionist Rage Chemist/Barbarian 8)
One poorly conceived wish for "a way to control Bol" by Bradley Weatherby to the Dweller at the Crossroads later, Bol died from coup de grace blade to the chest by some sort of summoned assassin from the Plane of Shadows. His "friends" could have revived him via Resurrection scroll, but decided they didn't like him enough... plus Bol would have killed BW for making the wish in the first place; Bol now suffers Demogorgon's displeasure at failing in his task, but will one day return to the mortal plane seeking vengeance, most likely after being demoted to a Quasit (that will have four arms and Bol's exact same stats and levels).
5. Glira Cross (Human Gunslinger/Magus 7?)
After briefly rejoining the party to provide potential backup against the Benders for BW, Glira found herself Black Tentacle'd, repeatedly stabbed in the kidneys by what appeared to be a constantly disappearing gnome legion, and then got crushed into unconsciousness by Telekinesis in the cellar of the Bender Bro's Fine Accommodations. At that point, a Bender kindly cut her throat to put her our of her suffering.
6. Obnoxiously Long Name, aka Mac (Human Ranger/Inquisitor 9)
After suffering similar indignities as Glira, Mac went done just as reinforcements and salvation was coming; in fact he had to die twice because an invisible Beltin was able to breathe life back into him 6 seconds after his first death. Unfortunately, the Bender who has just stabbed him in the throat did a double take and then did it again. So ends the tale of Mac; the church of Muir/Thyr should be pleased as his assignment was the death sentence they had intended it to be.
7-8. Bloody Skeleton Archers 1 and 2
Beltin's skeletal archers had a long, fulfilling unlife, but unfortunately they were struck down in their prime, consumed in holy fire. They will be missed. Especially by Beltin, as there goes half his ranged combat capability.
9. Beltin (Aasimar Dirge Bard/Cleric 9) - HE GOT BETTER
Alas, poor Beltin. After nearly fingering an old man to death, he learned that he is not the only one fond of giving bad touches. The old man touched him back for 6 constitution damage and then decided to burn him down, just as he burned down Bloody Skeleton Archers 1 and 2. The holy fire consumed him, and though it was quite a bad experience, it was nowhere near as disconcerting as what happened immediately after his death: No final judgement or call to rest, only darkness. Though he was resurrected, he still wonders about the meaning of what he saw (or did not see) in death, and he can't help but feel it does not bode well.
10. Phox (Kitsune Rogue/Ranger 9)
After a short, nonsensical life, Phox met his end by picking a fight with BW for no real reason using knowledge he didn't have. It didn't end well for him. At all.
11. Unnamed future BW victim (Human Fighter/Rogue/Shadowdancer/Something 9)
Murdered by BW after he pried out what might have been a dangerous relic for the party. No surprise there.
12. Veldi (Drow Oracle/Sorcerer 9)
Consumed by angry giant spiders off-screen after she helped murder their brood mother, aka dropped player.
13. Phox's replacement, otherwise known as the PC that will probably be dead before the end of session 10 (Human? Sorcerer (Sage)/Wizard 9)
Same fate as Veldi, though realistically probably would have died by some means involving BW even if he hadn't dropped from the game.
14. Astar Luno (NG Human Kata Master, Many of Many Styles Monk 10/Sacred Fist War Priest 10)
His life was short and unfortunate. First he got his soul crucified and barely survived one coup de grace, and then he got paralyzed by a Mohrg and left for dead by his ally BW. And then the Mohrg had its way with him and raised him as a fast zombie, which was then ran over by a tank due to BW's actions. Died twice in one session. Though BW realistically couldn't have protected his paralyzed form, he did kill Astar as a fast zombie, so that's enough to just say it was his fault. Again.
15. Beltin's shiny new T-Rex skeleton
Crushed to death by a Charnel Colossus that didn't like Beltin's undead menagerie taking a third of his health each round. Unfortunately for the T-Rex, while the rest of his brethren were bloody skeletons, the NPC necromancer who originally animated him saw fit to make him not. When he got crushed his death was final, much to Beltin's mild disappointment. Now Beltin seeks a museum to reclaim the dinosaur skeleton he has lost.
16. Bradley Weatherby (Human Dervish Dancer 10/Knife Master Rogue 7/Duelist 3)
Brutally murdered by Clantock's assassins in an ambush after accidentally poisoning Georgia, his only backup and chance of salvation. So ends the tale of BW, a man who murdered people for little to no reason, including party members, betrayed or planned to betray just about everyone he ever met, and only told the truth if it was somehow more dishonest than a straight up lie. The DM will miss you as you were the first truly long running character to fall for realz. Good night sweet prince.
17-19. Carl and two random Greed Elemental grunts
Carl, the hopelessly inept and useless recruit, finally found some use in being a blood sacrifice to return Bol/Vol again to the material plane from the Abyss. Because that is a good thing. Vol ate him. The other two random dudes died in the wastes, one by screamer induced suicide, and the other by Dread Wraith. None are particularly missed, but if we eventually start using Leadership rules for Jake's guild he will get to enjoy having a few points knocked off from his Leadership score. He's a horrible man to work for.
20. One random Greed Elemental grunt
Died defending the firebase from miscellaneous creatures herded to test their defenses. No one really cares.
21-22. Two Greed Elemental grunts
Died heroically walking back to the Camp from the firebase after the crusaders took it over. The two nameless grunts will live on in our memories and their sacrifice will never be forgotten.
