Dramatis Personae
Beltin (Aasimar Dirge Bard/Cleric 8).
Bol (Tiefling Vivisectionist Rage Chemist/Barbarian 8).
Phil (player kept his sheet so his character gets to keep his name; Oread Ranger/Empyreal Sorc 8). ABSENT PLAYER
Bradley Weatherby (Human Dervish Dancer 8/Knife Master Rogue 7/Duelist 1).
Obnoxiously Long Name, aka Mac aka Sun Bro replacement character (not his real name besides the nickname, but he kept his sheet and his name was made to be ridiculously long and pretentious sounding; Ranger / Inquisitor 8). Mac was sent to the Desolation on behalf of the church of Muir/Thyr to investigate the evil that lurked there, but this was well before the current crusade was even an idea. It was more a punishment (i.e. death sentence) for certain issues with certain daughters of certain members of the church... if you follow me here. He has spent the last last year or so exploring and cataloging the dangers of the Desolation, but has never penetrated it so deeply before now. Thinking himself a bit of a naturalist he tried to open a dialogue with the tribal gargoyles in the Chaos Rift. Long story short the tribe had two tortured captives when the party encountered them.
"Are you sure you guys are heroes?" Session 4 - 5/17/14
Day 5, dawn. The party buffs up and gets pumped for a lightning raid on the unknown number of combatants in the gargoyle caves. Beltin tells his Chimera and Hydra to start climbing, and then he takes off on his zombie mount with BW on the back and a skeletal archer in each claw. Bol downs an extract of Ant Haul, grasps Gurg in 2 of his 4 arms, and takes off. Woosh!
Now when they are near the lip of the cave their blitzkrieg strategy breaks down. Imagine you are a stupid tribe of spitting gargoyles/margoyles. You get one warning danger is on the way. You laugh and kill the messenger because nothing can reach you. Then several crazy ass ghosts show up and drive 5 of your number insane. What do you do later that night? You may be stupid but not that stupid; you stay alert. When the party gets near several battle cries come from all three watch towers and all 9 margoyles fly out to engage, with the other remaining 6 suiting up further in the caves.
Battle is joined in the air 30 feet below the lip of the cave! The skeletal archers manage to focus fire down several even with their negatives from being held in a zombie griffin's claws! Bol gets angry and any that get near him and skeletal giant he carries die quickly. BW, all buffed and ready to go, crits and crits and crits for max damage, 50 damage a pop. With a kukri. Beltin sings! And then gets bull rushed off his mount and barely dangles from the reigns.
One of the margoyles takes charge and cries out in Terran with a cackle, "Kill the rotting flying horse and down they all go!" and Beltin gets to have an oh shit moment as he has Comprehend Languages. Full attack, full attack, full attack go the margoyles! "..." says the destroyed zombie griffin and the now falling skeletal archers! Beltin slow falls himself and the archers and he eventually reaches the wall about halfway down and meets his Chimera and stays with it, but BW decides to be a badass.
Out comes the Immoveable Rod and he balances on it, dancing, challenging all to come. The margoyles accept his challenge and one gets decapitated, another loses a wing, and the third begins to question his life choices and starts to flee. With his foes dispatched, BW begins to acrobatically spin on the rod, getting ready for a daring acrobatic leap! At this point the three spitting gargoyles stick their heads out and do what their name implies.
Bol is having none of that and throws the skeletal giant 30 feet air and into the cave mouth, knocking one of the gargoyles prone. He then spies one of the two surviving, escaping margoyles and takes off after it.
Genocide survivors? On BW and Bol's watch? Oh hell no. BW unclicks his rod and makes a death-defying leap onto the back of a margoyle, stabbing his blade behind its wing and the margoyle fights for its life as they both tumble toward earth. And then BW puts the rod in front of the creatures neck and clicks the button. Crunch! And one broken neck later it's out of the fight, but so is BW, too far down with no way of getting back up. He unclicks and feather falls to earth.
Bol catches up with the escaping margoyle a couple hundred feet away and the battle is short and the victor obvious. Realizing that his party has retreated, Bol flies down to earth and stands with the rest of them among the broken and tattered remains of the margoyles slain in the air above.
Gurg fights on and takes down one of the spitters, but alas he is only a stupid undead and they are flying creatures with ranged attacks. He goes down with only that one kill. Several spitters land and prod the bloody bones, when they get a nasty surprise; the hydra with its 20 climb speed has finally entered the fray! Attack! 11 damage... DR negates 10.
The spitters laugh maniacally and kite it further into the cave and finish it. Flush with victory and hubris, the spitters begin to form up into a hunting party and 6 leap into the air to search for those who dared attack their nest. The standing figures below are easy to see and they dive toward them, screaming and laughing their maniacal war cries, perhaps some of that being Allip influenced.
The party was healing and saw them coming. Beltin tells his archers to play dead, and then tells them to drop prone when they stare uncomprehendingly and then goes Invisible himself. BW takes cover behind a boulder and stealths. Bol picks up a giant rock and gets ready. The spitters dive... and then Beltin hastes and commands the archers up. The volley cuts down one on the approach. Bol throws his rock and hits and one nat 1 on a fly check later, that spitter is falling, falling, and prone!
The spitters spit, but to no avail and those that landed get cut to pieces by the dancing BW and the savage Bol. Finally one remains, and after destroying one of the skeletons bows, he realizes it's over, glares at the party surrounding him and growls: "Parley?" Bol refuses to accept his surrender, and about 6 seconds later he's making himself a nice spitting gargoyle cap from the creatures severed head.
High above the party can tell they are being watched, but don't even care. They settle in for breakfast amidst the carnage, and that is Gurg hits the ground nearby with a white cloth tied around him with a crude message in blood, written in common: "Stop attacking. We can talk. We have deal. Wave fire if yes." The party briefly deliberates and then lights and waves a torch. Beltin shovels the remains of Gurg into his Bag of Holding, as Bloody Skeletons reanimate when destroyed normally.
A few moments later there is more activity above. A sense motive check reveals its almost like penguin behavior; one is going to involuntarily take one for the team by being pushed into potential danger. A spitter is thrown off the ledge and recovers in the air about 50 feet down, flies the other 550 feet down, and then lands near the party. He eyeballs them and begins to speak. And that is when Bol smashes him with a rock and keeps smashing until he's dead. It seems diplomacy has failed.
Above, the party can see several spitters watching, one flailing about wildly. They ignore it and debate what to do. This keeps happening. And the DM begins to roll a d20 in the open every 6 second. Finally after 30 seconds, the air around them is ripped apart with a fiery explosion; the reigning shaman who had a +5 to Use Magic Device finally triggered that Fireball wand, DC 20.
The others split up and take cover, but Bol is done with this shit. He takes off into the air and flies up for battle. Alone. He rises steadily and as he does so 2 more fireballs slam into him, but he succeeds and with fire resistance is unaffected. When he is 100 feet down the figured disappear.
He flies into the cave and sees 6 spitters on the walls ready to act with three further back in, one holding a wand. The other two have their claws at the throats of two heavily wounded humans. The wand holder speaks: "You come in and we kill them!" They have no idea if the ploy will work, but they generally know these adventure types are into saving people so they figure it's their only shot.
Bol doesn't care about human life, but he does know that Bard's Gate will pay more for rescued prisoners, and regardless of his savagery in battle, he likes the money as much as any other self respecting PC. He agrees to talk. Wand holder tells him if they cease their assault they can come to an arrangement. Bol says he needs the rest of his party, but to give him the wand as a sign of good faith. They agree and the party comes up.
Spitter shaman explains about evil magic far inside the cave that their leader wished to harness, but failed. They also mention that if had been here they would not be speaking, but rather peeling the flesh from the partys' bones at this point. He also calls them murderers, oath breakers, and child killers. BW tells them that the party holds eviler magic then anything they have to throw at them and glares at them. He also asks about Rupert Smitty, and is told they saw such a man but he managed to kill three of them before escaping into the rift.
That aside, their new leader, wand holder, went on, destroy the evil within, stop killing us, and we will give you these prisoners, some information, and some loot. The party demands the prisoners in advance. The leader asks if he looks like an idiot. They eventually come to terms and get one prisoner and his gear in advance; Mac joins the party!
They also manage to convince the spitters to allow them to roll a potion over for the wounded prisoner. They force it down his throat and he starts to moan in indescribable agony. Close enough, at least he won't die now, says the party and they go on. Beltin slips the hydra remains into his bag while the conversation is happening, as he entered invisible.
The party goes into the blocked passage and they see the long drop, waterfall, and pool below and after much discussion finally go down to the ledge ready to be attacked... and are not. Slightly disappointed, they continue onward but keep an eye on the pool behind them when it is in view just in case. Finally they reach what appears to be a fairly large lake deep in the caves.
The water is clear and lit with some sort of luminescent moss. Dark patches of what appears to be seaweed floats in clumps in areas, but besides that nothing. Some of the seaweed residue also appears to be on the walls, which the party then begins to examine for secret doors. A few spots of Olive Slime land and slide down some shirts, with PCs being none the wiser. The skeletons stand at the edge of the lake.
Eventually Beltin and Mac notice one of the seaweed patches moving near them and as Beltin quietly orders Gurg to be ready, it moves quickly to the ledge, and jumps out, revealing a bones bound together with a plant like substance instead of muscle. It tries to push past Gurg and the archers to reach living creatures, but fails. The undead pummel it and then Mac and BW move in for the kill... and it explodes onto them.
Mac, always the dry academic, then successfully makes his knowledge nature check and tells them that he has heard of this. It truly is a fascinating organism, Olive Slime, with how it mind controls its host into caring for it and protecting it as it consumes it before finally using its bones for movement. It's amazing really. At the mention of mind control I ask for Will saves as everyone is covered. Everyone but BW makes it.
The other start to remove it, but BW refuses saying its not hurting anything. As the party gets ready to subdue him, Bol has a better idea. He pulls out his Decanter of Endless Grain Alcohol and BW is drenched with the force of a fire hose. Beltin casts Spark and then BW gets to stop, drop, and roll. After being put out, BW thanks them and Bol cleanses of all residue in the cavern via his improvised flame thrower.
They find the bones of the leader among the residue from the creature they slew, but decide to rest before heading back to the spitters; they intended to finish the genocide as soon as they got the other prisoner, so they would near their strength. They gather some of the boiled cave fish from the lake (yay, flamethrower!), have dinner, and sleep.
Day 6. The party returns to the spitters and gives them the remains and tells how they, the party, were a greater evil than that below. The spitters seem inclined to agree. They are brought onto the torture plateau and see on the other end the current leader, with his claws at the throat of the caravan survivor, who is now in the same condition he was in before being healed. He asks if they think him stupid; he knows what they will do if he gives the hostage, but he can change that. He has an offer. He tells them of the arrangement with Clantock and offers them the same deal as they are mightier than he.
If they leave them in peace and pass info to them about good groups to hit and/or point weak adventurers their way they will give them a cut as tribute. At the mention of continuing "tribute" the party was sold, besides Mac and he voices his displeasure about it and the spitter hospitality, but does it in an incredibly dry, mellow, "that wasn't cool, guys" kinda way. I think the player is going to play him like a stoner. The spitter leader suggests they could trade Mac back to them as a prisoner... and the party considers before I tell them I was joking, please don't kill the same guy's character two games in a row (Mac's player found it funny though so no hard feelings).
The deal is made and the party gets the treasure haul according to the book! Wow is there a lot, but it's only about a third of what the spitters have; it is obviously going to be a profitable venture with them... the PCs reconsider genocide out of greed, but decide not to when I say its all just mundane wealth and all the magic was from the caravan.
They consider withholding some of it as Samar, the Bard's Gate official from the Camp, said he wanted the cargo back as part of the contract, but then they remember (i.e. are told by me) that according to the found manifest only the non-magic goods were actually owned by the caravan; the rest was the property of the enterprising wizard who booked passage/was hired to help the caravan, and he's dead so finders keepers.
And there was much rejoicing among the PCs, who then stole two bottles of the 100 gold per wine anyway to celebrate.
Fun fact: After they killed the Slime Zombie and searched the pool for treasure only to find none, Beltin's player give me a dirty look and said they were never going to get loot in this campaign. Joke's on you, asshole.
Casualties: 1 zombie griffin. Beltin has to walk now.
